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Crazy Crippled Church Bitch
Had a craptacular morning this morning: was woken up by noisey neighbors at 6:45 in the mother-lovin' a.m. (after going to sleep at 2am - I start work at 11). They were playing the radio at an insane volume - they live above me AND I was wearing earplugs, as I'm well aware of the thinness of my apartment's walls ('s cheap and them's the breaks). Nevertheless, loud radio in the early a.m. that hurdles through plaster and foam cylinders alike demands action. I had to call the cops and the building manager to get them to stop.
The dude who lives above me (note he lives there alone, or supposedly does) was gone, and instead it was his crazy lady friend. She told me to "get the fuck away from her door" when I asked her to turn her radio down. I love it: she tried to sound outraged because I was asking her to turn down her "church music" - "What, my church music?!?" she asked - and she was further outraged that I was doing what I was doing because she was "a cripple" and...and...she "used a wheelchair" (yes, she said this standing on both feet) and she tried to bulldog me by taking offense at absolutely everything I said, up to and including - I kid you not - "yes." I said "yes", she said "WHAT DID YOU SAY?", I said "I said yes." she said "YES?!?!!" I said "Yes." She said "get the fuck away from my door!" (probably because, shockingly, in a rare moment of self-awareness, she became savvy to the fact that she couldn't push the "yes" offense any further).
After that absolute absurdity, I told her I was "calling the cops, just so you know!" and then I did just that, and had to stay up because she never did turn down the music. Sadly, the cops didn't show up until 9:30, but that actually turned out to be a blessing and here's why. At first I thought the police would come quick, and so as not to miss them (and because I was sick to death of listening to crazy crippled church bitch music) I grabbed a book and stood outside from 7-8am. While I was out, the tall black dude came home. I said nothing to him, but let him go inside. Eventually I got tired of standing outdoors and went back in. Still the same music and ruckus. So I called to check on the police status, and was told they'd still be a bit. So I showered and lamely searched online for available apartments elsewhere.
Then it was 9:20ish, and I decided to leave for work. My building;s manager, Avi, was already there so I ducked in and told him all about it (good thing I raised my karma up with him over the weekend by helping another tenant hook up her internet). I told him I'd called the cops and that they were still coming. I asked him point blank if the crazy "crippled" lady was even on the lease and allowed to be there. He thought about it for a second and then said "no, she's not." I left it at that and he said he'd take care of it. Then, since I was leaving early for work, I went to the local Coffee Bean to relax and drink a really huge-ass coffee. At around 9:35 Avi calls and says the police are there, he's showing them in and they're ALL taking care of the problem and so not to worry.
And that...made me very happy. Crap assy morning, but I love sticking it to crazy crippled church bitches that make my morning so crap assy. I think though I may need to write a follow-up note to my next-door guy, because I left him a note Sunday saying I was still getting woken up and now I suspect it might have been the above jerk-offs. Damn. I need to move. --Dave B.
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